The shortest month of the year has breezed by, in record speed.  I had high hopes for this month, however illiterate fools still managed to send emails. From mistaken identities to drive thru options, it never seems to get old.  In true end of month fashion, i share the best of the worst to grace my email this month….

Hey love.  Are you otg ?

hmmm….any takers as to what on earth hes asking about?

How much for a good bj?

How much for you to use manners when contacting a lady?

hi, I love intelligemt sexy women. I like your pics, nice tits. Do you do rails? what are your rates and measurements?

WOW you seem like a man of class and one with great manners….Can’t imagine how lovely you must be in person

Hi, Liked your posting and wanted to know more. Is this a full menu? I am a male who enjoys giving as much or more than receiving are you open to that. Do you have restrictions? What does your schedule look like for next week? What sort of menu pricing am I looking at for a 1 hour meal?

Thanks, hope you have a great long weekend, love the pics

R

Hi R, ill make this easy for you – there is McDonalds on almost every second block,  you will find your full meal and your choice of a toy. ENJOY! 

I am AUSTINE SOLOMON, i will need you on my vacation tour from 25th-28th of This Month,Please text me back if you want to go with me.I am ready to offer you a good sum.Hope $2000 per day is ok .And an upfront will be paid to you even before you leave your state. text me on xxx-xxx-xxxx

Sweet my own Nigerian scammer….im sure this is legit.

Looks like last need some companie at the comfort Inn room 226

Very trusting man you are sending your room number and hotel name to a myself and who knows how many other ladies….to bad none of us know what city you are in?

 Hi. Hey i think i seen u. Wendy?

I am not Wendy nor do I know Wendy, but i feel sorry for her already.

Hey do you know garry from Waterloo i think you look like a girl i use to talk to once an awhile when i went by there if so i think i would like to meet up for a get to know you better Hh what do you think about that i will be going passed on my way back to Waterloo i was in bc it gets lonely on the road

I can’t say I know a Garry in that area, and I definitely don’t know you, no do i wish too. 

I would like to meet you and have some  fun if possible

Sorry i specialize in the miserable girlfriend experience  – no fun to be had here

I was just wondering if night can book for today still and what ur rates and services are that u offer 

Since you can’t clearly read and comprehend, nor can you spell I guess its best for you to seek other company.

For a short month there was no shortage of stupidity, lets hope March has people thinking before they email.  Not likely but here is hoping.

Till next month

xoxo

Emily