As I write this blog post every month, I sit in awe trying to chose which emails to put on the blog.  When I first started writing this post I only had a few choice selections for it, now there is an over abundance of emails that make me lose brain cells as I read them.

I present you with Octobers Selections for the Fucktard hall of fame….

Hey sounds really hot and u look amazing ? do you ever come to newfoundland

The email above was sent in reply to ad advert for various cities in Newfoundland.  I chose to not bother responding as it was too painful for my brain to comprehend the intelligence and reading ability of the sender.

nice picture you stole anyways – got any better pics, and where are you located

I shake my head at the stupidity here – why acuse someone of stolen pics, then ask for more and where they are located?

Hi,I’m driving from Montreal to Toronto, thought maybe I’ll stop by. Send me a message if you can meet around 4:30 pm (with a phone number please)

hmmm, Whitehorse is definitely not on the way to Toronto from Montreal, or am i missing something geographically?

Are you and your friend available?

Friend?

i live neer sudbury..and interested in you… out of all on this site..your sweet…i.m 55yrs slim and tall and alone but i want to know how tall you are ……..patrick

Before I can reply he sends this:

hi  im not a cop or a joke…but i don,t want a hooker thanks……you,s are unreal…..

Because he keeps replying to my auto reply I then get this:

do not auto reply again…………all you,s have is whores…who wants that………….lose my email….

Not sure how one gets christian mingle and eros-guide mixed up?

hi there Tall good looking male, 48, would like to meet for some flirtation, touching, massage, NO SEX Can you let me know if that’s ok, and the details. This is within the next 1hr or so. Let me know and no rush right

This is not build a bear, you don’t get to assemble the package on your terms.  

I will be in Sudbury on business on Sunday and Monday, and saw your ad – I am 45, white, clean, good shape, romantic, sensual, respectful and very very oral… Looking for an unrushed 30mins

Care for a glass of red wine with me at my hotel?

How on earth can I pass this up?

Hey seen your ad saying that you are in gander was looking for a quick hook up ASAP paying good

How about you take that money your paying good with and invest in some lessons in punctuation and grammar – the world would be a better place if you did.

Are you available in St. John’s money is no issue what so ever I want you now 506-XXX-XXXX

hmmm he can’t spell the right Saint John he’s in….nothing drives me more crazy than ignorance.

hi emily, you look a bit busy.  i have lost my interest.

have a good time.

Pete

This email was in response to my auto reply – like WHY even send this?

And the gem of the month goes too – THIS guy:

I would love to book you let me know your rates and services you are soo astonishing I would love to slide my hard cock between your legs text only booking I’m busy so reply ASAP  1902-XXX-XXX

So I’m supposed to text you to book when my ad states for you to email me to book…..the fact you are crude, high on yourself and have poor grammar makes me want to smack up upside the head with a lamp – however the lady in me will just add you to my blog.

As you can see the month was as interesting as always – lets hope the cooler temps freeze the lack of intelligence on the fucktards this month.

Have a great one

xoxo

Emily