Outdoor Fun and SO Much More….

As the month is drawing to an end I am faced with the task of picking the best of the worst for my monthly blog.  Sadly this task gets harder every month as the amount of bizarre and out there emails are at an all time high.  Let the stupidity begin….

Hello. I’m a 28 year old slim plumber in town for a while. I’m interested in your services for tomorrow night around 12-2am. Will you be available and what are your rates? Thank you.

Some of us enjoy sleep at that time of day and thats what I will be doing….Ill have to decline.


Staying in Yellowknife for the night, was hoping you could show me a good time tonight;) FYI I am British!;)


Hi Ash, had you read my ad, you would have comprehended that i am NOT currently in Yellowknife.  Thank you for attaching a lovely photo of your family, nothing to creep me out more than the pic containing yourself, your wife and your 3 kids.

Sweeeeer Geeeeeeeez babe if u capture my mind I will have too marry you lol please hit me up with your donations thx

How about I hit you up with some grammar classes otherwise the only thing hitting you will be me repeatedly with a lamp.

Hey sexy are u still in Fredericton how niche for device

I have no idea what it is you are seeking, however I don’t think I want any.

Are you available on the 26 or 27 of this month for a stag party in Terra Nova for 5 or 7 guys just playing golf an having fun.


Sure, why not….being outnumbered with random strangers in a remote location is always a great idea.

Hi, need your service for around 2 hours, cim n full service with 2 or 3 shots at my place, would like to book you, how much, thanks.

I suggest you call 9-672-41P-IZZA as they offer exactly what you are seeking at a  great price (and i bet it comes with a 40min on time guarantee)

Are you available I am staying at quality inn and suites its my last night I like hour of your time I like silly nylons let me know your rates for hour just a Bj and foot job no intercouse.

I like manners – i don’t think we are a match.

From: jostudly@xxxxxxx.xxx

How much today for 45 mins? What is included. Are these real pics?

Are you as study as your email address? do you dress well? how about drive a nice car?

I am looking for a stripper to work a friends bachelor party Saturday night. I’ve never really had to look for these types or services before but have stumbled upon this website. Do you know who I might me able to contact?

Sure you just stumbled upon my site….i guess you never bothered to read it or you would have realized I’m not a stripper nor a directory for adult related services.

hi I am looking for a hot girl like you to do brown and golden showers in my mouth and full service. price is no object. can you offer me this service. thank you.

No, simply and easily NO not now or ever.

Geez. Your a rocket. Hoped to approach you for a quickie. Here at the airport next to you. Maybe you did notice me fucking you with my eyes. Lol.

Creepy much? I have no words for this type of behaviour.

Would you be available tonight around 2am for some outdoor fun? I really hope you’ll be up for it.

I can’t think of a better time of day to meet up with a random stranger…and in the outdoors as well. As much as I enjoy Criminal Minds I don’t wish to be an episode.

I’m interested to see tank u

I have no clue what your seeking?

Guest Email of the month:

“Thanks for your email. You sound like a beautiful and intelligent woman whom I would like to meet. September xxth sounds like it might be the best day for you. I want to be respectful and would like to propose the following: a multi hour date involving dinner (your choice of great place) or drinks, shopping/movie and the intimate suggestion you referred to (sounds perfect!) . I would love to see if we could arrange this for the $300 August special you advertise and I will be please to handle the shopping. I would suggest we meet up around 4pm and then spend the evening. Would  you be game for this? I think you would find me to be a fun gentleman and I hope we can meet.  Thanks.”

Great I enjoy being a charity case and giving my time away for nothing especially with someone I’ve never net before.  A multi hour dates comes with a multi hour donation….What rock did you crawl out from under that you missed this concept?

As you can see it was a month chalked full of stupidity….can hardly wait to see what September willl bring.

Happy reading






3 comments on “Outdoor Fun and SO Much More….

  1. Gerard

    Lol….Emily, I always get such a great chuckle out of these. Thank you for sharing again, and as always….funny not funny!
    All the Best, G

  2. NightMoves

    As always Emily these emails make me smile.

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